There’s nothing shameful in life being a double edged sword, we can write and if it touches someone, or it helps them to feel less alone then what a gift we’ve found in amongst the chaos.
“Connection is collaborative. For words to have meaning, they have to be read.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about all the ways I get to communicate with people and how lucky I am to have photography.
I’ve been really enjoying working on more portrait sessions over the last few weeks, it’s been great to have the conversations that come with those moments. Thank you to those who have reached out about future collaborative shoots too, lots to look forward to.
I’ve been thinking a lot about all the ways I get to communicate with people and how lucky I am to have photography.
I’ve been really enjoying working on more portrait sessions over the last few weeks, it’s been great to have the conversations that come with those moments. Thank you to those who have reached out about future collaborative shoots too, lots to look forward to.
I also had my first wedding photography stress dream of the year last night which can only mean that wedding work starts up soon. Ugh, the worst, dreaming that I drove for hours to a remote wedding to open my camera bag and there was just a lens in it and nothing else. WHITEY. I think I check my bag about 20 times before I head out to any job cos I’ve got the fear so bad that I’ll forget something. Oooft. Anyways, 1 April and wedding season starts. Although this year it’s way less intense, there’s more time for life and other creative experiments to happen in between which I’m glad about.
Last year’s wedding work had me an emotional wreck. I never get over how lovely a thing it is to share those vulnerable moments with couples. I think it helped kick started me focussing on sorting out my head with crappy past experience so I can move past it all so thank you to all the couples and celebrants who I worked with for giving me food for thought for the drives home. This last wee while has been a rollercoaster. I’m so glad I spoke out on here but it’s been tough to hear so many horrific things from other women. I had a day last week where I just pure rage cried all day long. I never really know how to process anger, it probably used to come out as me being a wee radge drunken liability. But it felt good to just imagine I’m Joe Pesci with a sharp suit and a sharper blade and just weep like fuck for a day, which hopefully was coming from a place of empathy and not psychopathy.
“We are empathic beings who feel for each other. Our very success as a species is rooted in our ability to be aware of each other’s needs, to notice each other’s pain and to experience deeply felt physiological and emotional empathy.”
I guess I just needed to spit it all out and get that guy out of my face and that felt quite selfish or at least focussed on self preservation but I hadn’t really anticipated that it would also open up a safe space for so many difficult and generous conversations which has proved to be a beautiful, emotional and empowering thing.
There’s been a lot of naps too. My body has started to relax and I’ve never needed to sleep so much in all my puff.
Then last weekend I also got to be a guest at a wedding, to get my own suit oot, dance and laugh with good folks. What a treat. Didn’t even take my phone out my pocket, not a single snap taken until I went on a solo art adventure the next morning. It felt fucking great to do things I love to do to feel better and just give myself a bit of time. Thank you to my ace pals Kerri and Mark for the best piss up in a brewery a booze sober girl could hope for. And to the lovely ladies who drove me to Newcastle and didn’t even give me a hard time for booking myself into the wrong hotel.
And after finding my baws about the bad stuff it’s time to do the same for all the good.
For work, we’re making the next changes to the way I do all the stuff too. We’re bringing all the wedding photography, portraiture and the elopement and wee wedding planning with the elopement society into one space on social media so it’s a bit more like the website and so I don’t freak out that I’m spinning too many plates. It feels good to simplify all the ideas into one space. Then there’s still my other instagram page for the loose cannon stuff. Starting to get there with making time for some more creative explorations.
So please follow @solencollet and @solornothing if you don’t already (the name of the wedding photo one has changed to match the website). We’ve got a competition and store sale coming too for a bit of a spring clear out of all the stuff lying around that reminds me of how shit I am at keeping on top of shouting about it all. Well, we’ve just had all the germs and school holidays and meltdowns so maybe it’s more about me remembering that those things happen and they eat into my studio time.
“Or, more simply, creativity is any act of love. Any act of making. It is usually applied to art-making, but it can also be applied to anything you do that requires your focus, skill and ingenuity. It takes creativity to dress well, for example. To parent. To paint a windowsill. To give someone you love your full attention.”
I had an interesting chat with a photographer a few days ago who reckons that wedding work is still really undervalued by folks in other creative sectors. She believes the art world and creative directors are mostly a bit snobby about someone who does any wedding or social photography work like you can’t be good at both even though pretty much all artists need at least one other job to be able to afford to live. So here’s a wee rant about how that can be the day job. For me, it feeds my kid but also through shooting weddings for a decade I’ve learnt so much. I wouldn’t say I’m technically particularly proficient and I’m not into the kit side of things at all really unless it’s vintage film cameras but even then I don’t geek out about that stuff. But through shooting 10 hours on the bounce you learn to hyperfocus to find a composition in amongst all the moving noise like a street photographer would, to anticipate what’s going to happen in a room full of people, you learn to use shite available light, to work in all weathers, to work in awkward spaces with a heap of drunk folks with heightened emotions and family politics, to get a couple’s connection on camera in a short space of time even if they’re super camera shy or hate public displays of affection. All the while you are problem solving, travelling between places you might never have been before, being sensitive to different religious beliefs and traditions. And like studio collaborative work, there’s a team of folks with their own brief to work with - videographers footage to swerve, liaising with venue staff, caterers, makeup and hair, florists, bands, different officiants with their own ways of working all to a specific timeline with literally one break all day and it’s fucking hard work. Then you drive home…And I think that’s me giving myself a lecture about something which I’ll probably figure out in a day or two…
I don’t have any self portraits to share this month as all my work time has been taken up with portraiture sessions of other folks, I’ve lots of edits from those to share soon and I’ve a bunch of ideas to get to work on now that I feel a little less freaked the fuck out so I’ll no doubt share them too. I’ve been doing a bit of my crap writing about things that make me happy and still working away on ways to combine the two things.
I bought myself a copy of On Connection by Kae Tempest on my Sunday art adventure in Baltic Centre for Contemporary Arts in Newcastle. All the quotes I’ve used are from the book which I haven’t finished reading yet but love already. The person in the shop was delighted to see a copy leave as they said it was a beautiful thing to read. My mate Andy of 5things also sent me this link to their episode about the book. 5things is a regular online breakfast event where 3 speakers discuss 5 things each about a favourite non-fiction book.
I ONLY WORK WITH LEGENDS
Want to have some tea and a rant while I snap photos of your face for use as smoke signals over the mountains of that there internet?
A bad seed, a rotten apple, take oot the rubbish…
I’m feeling really proud of myself for processing some big nasty things in healthy ways. What’s she on about? A lot of the things I’ve been writing and my self portraits I think have all been ways of trying to free myself of the last few lingering voices of old shit that made me feel small.
TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual violence, emotional abuse, male violence.
Here we are, the other side of saying out loud the stuff I suppose I’ve been alluding to for some time. I might be wee but I’ve discovered I have massive cojones. Bada fucking bing. I’m feeling really grateful for the good people around me. I’m feeling really proud of myself for processing some big nasty things in healthy ways. What’s she on about? A lot of the things I’ve been writing and my self portraits I think have all been ways of trying to free myself of the last few lingering voices of old shit that made me feel small.
And as is always the way, turns out the abusive assholes are forever lurking around, desperate for attention and to bring you down a notch or two. This month my rapist ex boyfriend tried yet again to get in touch with me, again trying to follow me online. I blocked him and outed him on the page he was blocked on and the very next day I get a passive aggressive condescending email. To me, that’s only an admission of guilt, I guess he was hoping I’d feel threatened but I ken where you live too, aye and thank fuck it’s far away. So I posted that too. I’ve since deleted it as he doesn’t get to have a voice in any places I exist.
I think I needed to do that for a long time, to name out loud what happened to me too but put it off because I’m deeply mortified I ever found anything about him remotely interesting. He’s a disgusting misogynist playing the part of whatever. I didn’t want to give him airtime as I feel that people like that are just parasitic in their need for attention, good or bad. I feel like people like that completely lack basic empathy and just play act being mostly like everyone else - they’ve got their house and car, wife and kids and some dark as fuck violent secrets and it’s just not somewhere that I want a part of in any way. But that fucker has been trying to darken my door since I was a teenager and it’s not right. His name is Richard Mason, he’s apparently a teacher in USA now, with a family. It always creeps me out how some people can live a complete lie.
“Abusive people don’t abuse everyone and the folks they are abusive to, often it’s a slow build up of insidious ways of breaking down your self confidence and gaslighting the hell out of you so you start to doubt yourself.”
I think it’s important, especially for other men to see, to share this shit cos abusive people don’t stop being abusive the minute you leave them. They will be abusive as long as they can gain access to you so you have to shut them down. Sometimes that can be hard, maybe where there’s strong trauma bonds and a bunch of psychological abuse or you share kids or whatever. Abusive people aren’t always abusive, sometimes they’re in charm offensive mode. Abusive people don’t abuse everyone and the folks they are abusive to, often it’s a slow build up of insidious ways of breaking down your self confidence and gaslighting the hell out of you so you start to doubt yourself. And I’ve been getting really angry about the ways I have doubted myself because of this shit. Being an angry stress-head doesn’t sit very well on me, I’m not into it at all. I’m at home lost in ideas, trying to find time to have a laugh rolling around in paint or whatever.
But in naming it, a load of stuff I had already been through and the big healthy anger surfaced. I had a bit of an emotional flashback for a few days. All that stuff kicked off when my kid was on school holiday and not feeling well. So it was a bit intense trying to juggle it all. I hate that feeling of being back in danger. It can take a while to realise that’s what’s going on and it can mess with your judgement a bit. Thankfully I don’t have many visual memories from those days at all, maybe I’m lucky I was an utter bam who drank waaaay too much and the rest. But the emotional flashbacks aren’t a pleasant thing to go through. They can last days, they used to be longer and more frequent. It’s like feeling stuck in fight or flight. You feel deeply anxious - for me my whole body tightens up, I get stomach cramps and insomnia or sometimes violent nightmares and wake in a panic. I’m also pretty sure the suspected Crohn’s Disease I had to go to specialists for every few months for years is completely related. I’ve read up a lot about complex post traumatic stress disorder which helps and in therapy discovered I had pretty much zero handle on interoception - where you notice and understand internal sensations as signals from your nervous system.
(Anyone who finds any of this familiar I can recommend reading stuff by Pete Walker, Gabor Mate and Bessel Van Der Kolk if you haven’t already). Feeling trapped or stuck isn’t something I want to stay in, I'm not going to live in old wounds, I have way too many good things to be doing.
So I’ve discovered that after resting up and dealing with the physical weight of that type of feeling I’m best getting my anxious wee ass to a gig where I can lose my shit in the crowd and let all the big feelings bubble to the surface cos nobody else notices and if they do they’ll hug you so it’s all good. Just go to a gig, any lyric that touches a nerve, let it like a beautiful wake for the bad shit, seeing it off on it’s way for good. Just go and try to stay present, have a dance about and feel in your body again cos sober dancing sometimes feels like a magic power. It can shake away the dissociation. Everyone else is too tipsy to care what you are up to anyways but you are connecting to something good instead of being stuck with the feeling memory of someone else’s horrible actions. Would recommend for any lover of the tunes who has some heaviness to clear away. Here’s to the good ones that write bangers. Although I’d maybe save it for a bigger venue if you might lose your shit big time cos at somewhere like Sneaky’s it’s not quite so easy to ninja in your emotions. I reckon book lovers must have similar experiences freaking out in lush old dusty libraries with ornate ceilings or film buffs getting to the indie cinema for a double bill. It’s just about connecting to something that fills you up. Bit of shambolic decadence, you know. Figure this is what those hiker types are up to bagging munros and that.
And for me, packing some pants and 4 cameras (and maybe an extra lens or two but who’s counting) and getting on a plane to visit friends for a few days to play around taking portraits is the best thing for sorting out all of it. Especially when there’s a fox waiting for you at the other side. Thank you to my good friend Laura and her boy for the airport surprise, turning up in the cutest wee fox costume, my heart melted all over the place. And I can’t even deal with his wee brother’s duck outfit that she made but you had to be there.
I’m proud of myself for not slipping back into drinking or even really thinking I might want to go there, I know that it made those flashbacks way worse for me. I’m saying all of this stuff because of all the amazingly generous and supportive messages I’ve been getting. I know that folks have my back but also that saying it sometimes helps someone else to find their baws about similar struggles too. And that’s not to say everyone needs to start shouting, sometimes just getting by after heavy shit is as brave as you need to get but talking to someone can help too when the time is right for that. It’s taken me many years to get to this point with the stuff I’ve struggled with.
So now I think I have to just get louder and not hold myself back when some ideas for words and pictures start to surface around these experiences. It’s about my feelings of experiences, not about the shitty people in any ways. I was struggling for a bit with it all a few months ago, trying to focus on finding some joy in the making of things for the sake of making things, if that makes sense. I just need to let it all flow and not overthink it all, trust that my body knows when things feel right. Working on some ways to bring my writing and photography together in a more coherent way now that I feel like I have a bit of clarity. It’s good to be putting sketchbooks of poems I love together with my scribbles and chopped up contact sheets.
I’m really lucky to have people I can be honest with who don’t judge me, they just support and share their own experiences and feelings. I’m lucky to have folks who speak my language. Thanks for the useful suggestions around your own experiences too. I’ve been told to get in about some EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing) therapy so will go and investigate that a bit.
There’s a link to make donations to Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre on my instagram here.
It’s been an amazing month overall for me though, investing in all the good stuff. And of course I’m having way too many ideas about how to collaborate and grow some good community vibes off the back of all the lovely messages I’ve been getting but I think I probably need to rein myself in a bit as usual and just let it all happen.
My kid and I have a tradition where we guerilla post homemade valentines around our neighbourhood for strangers to find. We went to this big garden in East Lothian and rolled down hills on the grass, did some cartwheels, fed some horses and saw a deer take a shit. We spent some time playing in the sand on our beach and we danced around a lot. He spent a solid 15 minutes one night trying to convince me that ASMR means Amazingly Satisfying Moments of Reverb and I’m sold. He’s since started whispering it at me at any given moment in all the accents he’s collecting and so far his Essex one is a winner cos he adds ‘babs’ at the end so you know where he’s meant to be from. Thinks he well Gemma Collins. He also threw up all over the bathroom in the middle of the night. Good old school holiday vibes.
March is just around the corner which feels wild cos February has just been all that stuff mixed with not enough strikes and the odd summary warrant for overdue bills I was late to pay so feels quite soon but that’s all good.
Next month I have some more portraiture work lined up and a little time to play and is it Spring yet? x
I only work with legends
Supporting evidence below. March is for portraits and adventures. See some examples here.
“Won’t you visit my studio and let me perpetuate your personality?”
Being bored in the flat finally made me sort out my little darkroom cupboard and get back to printing some black and white images. It’s been so long my chemicals had all rotted but I’d forgotten how you have to count the seconds and it keeps you present, tunes on (getting lost when the BPM and the red light seconds counter are off kilter with each other) I really enjoy the gentle process…
Hi lads,
Back to the grind. Playtime is over, no more pissing about this year, mind…
I was quite chuffed that Santa managed to pull off a lo-fi quiet Christmas for the wean and I seeing as we were trapped in the flat for most of the last couple of weeks of school with all the germs. My kid gave me nits and a chest infection for Xmas. We checked one out under the microscope he got from Santa, weirdly hypnotic wee fellas.
Being bored in the flat finally made me sort out my little darkroom cupboard and get back to printing some black and white images. It’s been so long my chemicals had all rotted but I’d forgotten how you have to count the seconds and it keeps you present, tunes on (getting lost when the BPM and the red light seconds counter are off kilter with each other) I really enjoy the gentle process…I’d been putting it off for a very long time because I kept overwhelming myself with ideas and all the cameras but then once I got in about it I remembered that I can only process 35mm negatives and I’ve only got black and white paper and chemicals so maybes I just need some constraints then I’m off…
I’ve started shooting some self portraits and exploring my autonomy, getting back in touch with my flesh. Not to keep dropping trauma turds all over the internet but folks who follow my @solornothing page have probably noticed me grappling with seeing and expressing myself as someone with wants and desires for some time now. Or maybes it just looks like a horny midlife crisis, I donno. Maybes it’s both. Anyways, I’m slowly scratching my way out of some time in solitary confinement. Maybe I’ll write elsewhere about my experiences in more detail but for now I want to stick to dancing in the darkroom and let some of the noisy ideas loose and see where it takes me, reaping all that has been sown so far and all that.
I think the realisation you are neurodivergent as an adult is as liberating as it is frustrating. I’ve always been a bit all or nothing in relationships and that's definitely been taken advantage of a times. It’s strange to think I might not have been through some of the tougher experiences if I’d known when I was younger the huge part that often plays in emotions, thinking and behaviours. So I’m taking time to be kind to myself and hope that I can still be me but with some stronger boundaries to keep things healthier. All of these explorations are helping me to find out.
The best part of wedding shoots is connecting with people in their genuine big feelings but I’ve never tried that on myself before. Most of my work is sharing and recording other peoples’ vulnerable moments. I always learn something from the couples and the celebrants I work with, who are just the best storytellers. We’ll share more of that good stuff this year. I’ve a heap of things from last year to share and a bunch of admin to catch up on and I’ll get there one of these days. Wedding work starts for me on the last weekend of the month, with a tiny wedding for a couple of absolute legends so I’ll no doubt be a complete emotional wreck but we’re going to have a dance in the street and good times.
I owe Hannah a huge thank you, not only for making sense of all my work for the new website last year but also for masquerading as me on my wedding work page and the elopement society socials for most of the last few months of last year. I had a bit of a burnout at the end of wedding work season after having the big neurodivergent realisation along with some nasty past experiences deciding I needed to deal with them all at once. I was pretty work shy, overwhelmed and triggered to fuck but I feel like I’ve managed to get past it all and the year has started with some big laughs and lots of germs and ideas. This year I’m just doing stuff before I can overthink it all away and you can hold me to that, if you want to.
Anyways, from now on Hannah will be concentrating on The Elopement Society online as we build a bunch more connections with some local creatives and charitable organisations that support independent artists. We’ve so many ideas and collaborations to get to work on. I struggle so much with the wedding industry sheen, the whole ‘best day ever’ glossy pressure and I think we’re all skint and doing things the same way as everyone else is hella boring so maybes it’s time that we do things differently. Mostly we’ll be over here with our chat and sending our subscribers some patter and treats. You should join the mailing list if you haven’t already.
“Our whole ethos is centred on supporting local independent brands and creatives who have a strong sustainability practice, reminding couples that you don’t have to have a ‘wedding’ but you can get married however you want. There’s so many preconceived notions of what a wedding is and fuck those guys, just be you and do things in a way that represent your story together so it has some meaning and value.”
Local couples can use the spaces they hang out in on their wedding day, it doesn’t have to be a huge wildly expensive thing to be beautiful and special if you don’t want it to be. We work with loads of overseas couples who have a connection to Scotland who want to elope here and we offer an alternative to the well travelled jaunt to the beautiful highlands cos there’s beautiful spaces all over our wee country and in our local neighbourhoods. So, for now, our focus is on Edinburgh and East Lothian mainly cos I love to shoot there and it feels like home. We list our ideas as packages just to take the stress out of figuring out where to begin once you let those preconceptions go but we tailor every elopement and small wedding to suit our couples, they’re just a serving suggestion to whet yer appetite. More about all that stuff coming soon for all the new engaged folks discovering us on the internet.
I’ve started this year feeling very restless, I’m itching for some laughs and adventures.
I had fun shooting some portrait jobs at the end of the year and I’d love to do more of them this year. I always try to shoot some pre-wedding couples portraits with the folks who’ve got me following them around all day and their weddings. I also do a little bit of family portraiture and some promo and editorial shots now and again but those mostly tend to be on the move much like my events work. I’d like to slow things down and do more studio based stuff to mix things up a bit and to get the lighting gear out.
I have some time in February to play. So pals looking for collaborative shoots or needing portraits, get in touch.
There I go, trying to avoid sitting still already…
Speak again soon xx
Oh, and the ““Won’t you visit my studio and let me perpetuate your personality?” quote is from the first female photographer to get her own studio in Hollywood. She worked with MGM, with final approval and credit for all her images, styled Garbo and Joan Crawford all in her twenties.
You have to die a few times to really live
One of my proper oversharing is caring rants so take a deep breath. This time last year I had my usual fuck all invites to do anything festive. Folks don’t know what to do with a socially awkward sober single self-employed solo parent old weirdo nightmare at the best of times and that’s ok. As is always the remedy, I took myself to a couple of gigs and I decided to make something for myself with my time instead of being grumpy wee shite.
Firstly, a huge thank you to the folks who made orders with our wee online store over November, we’ve made our donation to Refuweegee in your honour. Last day for postage for the year is Wednesday 14th. Solidarity to everyone out there having to strike.
One of my proper oversharing is caring rants so take a deep breath. This time last year I had my usual fuck all invites to do anything festive. Folks don’t know what to do with a socially awkward sober single self-employed solo parent old weirdo nightmare at the best of times and that’s ok. As is always the remedy, I took myself to a couple of gigs and I decided to make something for myself with my time instead of being grumpy wee shite. I made myself mad uncomfortable by videoing myself dancing in my pants and turned it into a flipbook and it was the best fun experience because I hadn’t made anything tangible in a very long time. 2021 was my busiest year of wedding work to date and so I’d just been chasing my tail with editing and never having time to hang out with anyone or take my kid on adventures. He was with his other family for xmas last year but I had a fucking great time to myself, watching Snowbeast, Die Hard (festive) and Goodfellas and fucking the social norms that say you have to behave in certain ways and wear a fucking stupid paper hat and eat dry meat that nobody has a bar off any other time of year, what’s the deal with the eating turkeys? I’m not a total grumble demon, I just think we should make our own traditions out of things that we love instead of blindly following everyone else.
Looking back on how uncomfortable I felt making that flipbook makes me really happy as I feel this year I no longer give a flying fuck about a lot of insecurities I had this time last year. Taps aff, tits oot, sober dancing amongst other personal revelations. Aaaw, look at me in ma big girl pants, risen like a phoenix from the ashes and that, bless. I recently said some people are so delicious you can’t help but let them burst open your darkness and just hope they stick around long enough to help you clean up the mess. I didn’t expect it to burst out of me like a bomb the last few months but there you go. I’ve been a lot more open lately about some difficult experiences in the past that have held back my confidence. There’s days in bed being a bit Brian Wilson to let it all go. The wee radge version of me that has been dormant since I stopped drinking is rising to have my back so nae shite, thanks. Big old realisations about healthy anger and the like. I’m still a bit easily startled compared to the bravado in my brains but heading in the right direction. I’m lucky to have you tasty creeps around, the old energy is definitely clearing so I hope I’m in a fit state to share my gratitude soon. Working on some ideas.
All of these things come down to connecting with great folks, making myself communicate about things I want and don’t want, although I get a bit carried away sometimes. People are weird eh? I know I’m a bit dramatic and exhausting for sure. There’s plenty folks who love to see you doing ok but hate it when you start to do great. (Popped that one in to give the frenemies a beamer, you’re welcome, bitches.) Best to focus on the places where you feel safe, nourished and challenged to keep going and exploring. Gratitude for the good ones, I can’t tell you enough how grateful I am for you people that offer me safe spaces and all the good things.
“You have to die a few times to really live.”
— Charles Bukowski
I’m excited to be making new connections to artists whose work I love and am inspired by. I am forever in awe of folks who have proper disciplined process when it comes to creating, for me it’s a shambles of torture until something daft pops out to take the edge off my pure goth existential whitey. I’ve started trying to hone my inner radge into a kind of Begbie that gives me shit for letting the overwhelm take over so we’ll see how that goes. I can’t always figure out ways to get the difficult feelings and memories out in creative ways like I think I should to torch them. Maybe for now they’re meant to come out in more straightforward ways for me and I’m just meant to play and say fuck you to all that stuff by finding some sexy joy in creating and letting go instead of looking backward.
I know lots of people who have a bunch of stuff they rarely talk about. You can see my ranting and raving on my not wedding work instagram (@solornothing) where I try to push myself to just share stuff and be a bit braver. I’ve had a lot of heavy rants with folks recently. Bottling nasty stuff up just holds us back from really living but there’s no point in getting stuck in it either.
I was having a wee maudlin time to myself this week after facing some of the tough stuff but I dragged myself away from my misery pit and went to a couple of gigs. Music is the best drug. The power of dancing with strangers and getting rattled by the bass through the pa (cos us short asses are always down the front next to the pa or up the back moaning about one of you tall fuckers standing right in front of us just as the band start) is transformative. I slowly murder my playlists by listening to them till it gets painful and then start all over again but I think I was exact same with tapes when I was wee. My flat is full of instruments I don’t know how to play. It makes sense that I’ve been reconnecting with folks who I know through my days working at gigs this year cos I’m greedy for the tunes. It’s one of the few ways that really helps me to get out of my head and into my body which I really need to focus on more.
If you struggle at this time of year for any reason my solid pal advice for you (I’ve got my hand on your shoulder if you need a wee visual) switch off from all the bullshit happy family narratives that claim buying folks loads of crap is the best way to express love and go and create something. Or just reach for your favourite vice and get tore in, whatever works, what do I know, I don’t even have whisky to turn to so give me a break.
We all know that abusive people love to kick up shit at this time of year for maximum effect while we’re all being force-fed the happy big family around the table stories so don’t be a dick.
All the hugs and dances and rest, merry gents
xxx
The Store
Joy As An Act Of Resistance, Who's In?
Thank you to everyone for the lovely feedback about the new website. It feels good to have something out there that’s a bit more representative of me and different types of photography work I like to do. There’s a big shift happening for me and this has been a really useful place to start.
Thank you to everyone for the lovely feedback about the new website. It feels good to have something out there that’s a bit more representative of me and different types of photography work I like to do. There’s a big shift happening for me and this has been a really useful place to start. The whole process of working with Hannah has been amazing. She’s brilliant. Although, we have tangent rants a lot. She’s one of those folks who is incredibly encouraging and also just gently nudges you to be a bit braver, to charge the going rate for work instead of giving my time and ideas away...
She’s also helped me to just face the fact I’m more than likely to have ADHD. That’s led me to some massive learning about myself, how my brain works (and doesn’t) and how much of a hard time I can give myself for not progressing ideas for projects that aren’t paid jobs. It’s been really liberating. I had no idea about many of the different facets of how ADHD can affect daily life and my behaviours and awful memory make so much sense. It’s a total confidence booster to figure out you aren’t just a lazy procrastinating forgetful bastard but that your brain just doesn’t work in the linear ways that capitalism wants it to. Power to the divergents and all that.
I’ve had the best time this year. It’s been a wild ride. I’ve been an emotionally overwhelmed wreck a lot of it but trying not to be a total people pleasing doormat has freed up some space in my brain and time to hang out with the folks who’ve been there for the rants and the dances so it’s been fun. I’ve also been working mostly on my own at weddings this year for the first time really. I’ve shot weddings for around a decade and mostly had someone with me for the full days but after restrictions last year changed things, I just ended up mostly flying solo. There’s no decompressing from the lovely intensity of it all on the drives home, belting out bangers in the car with Alix. So I’ve been really conscious of how much I’ve missed that but also I’ve started to explore using film again so it’s been a great learning experience. I genuinely have the best clients, always such generous and lovely folks to hang out with so I’m really lucky.
Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my wild year. I feel like I’m growing exponentially and it’s a wild ride. It feels good to find a little confidence to explore autonomy over myself and the parts of me that I maybe haven’t looked after very well for a long time.
I’ve witnessed the most amazing connections between people through my work and beautiful combinations of different traditions. I know I often bang on about it but it really does just amaze me to see it. I shot my last wedding job of the year and the last covid postponement early in November. What a wonder of a wee team in the face of adversity those folks are. And it’s not just the couples I work with, sometimes it’s witnessing the most amazing family bonds too. I don’t have any living siblings and I find it fascinating to watch how they can come together and support each other in the roughest of circumstances. It’s alchemy to see all the ways folks are there for each other. After that day at work I sat on the sofa with my kid and my dad listening to music till midnight (ooft, wee guy was a riot the next day). My dad has just got into streaming, got all French about Jacques Dutronc, says his lyrics aren’t just words, they’re a philosophy. Good times.
November has been pretty much fighting my body’s deep wish to hibernate. The seasonal affective disorder is a beast this year. I also invented an Amelie inspired flirtation with a recycling bin that I realised was more romantic and enjoyable than my past relationships with actual human men so it’s been a time. Winter is always a bastard and I hate most things about xmas so I’m making sure I make time for those lush friends and folks who make me feel enriched. I’m making time to do the things that make me feel full. Mostly that’s either using the tiny bits of freetime I’ve got to chase (booze-free) debauchery or sometimes it’s gentle art feasts, getting out and about creeping with old film cameras and swearing in the dark with chemicals. I can highly recommend hanging out on the beach in a mad cloak based on a costume from the second worst film of all time and eating crisps with the crows for a life affirming start to yer day.
Anyways, some work things I should be taking about instead of this self indulgent pish…
The Store
All profits from sales on our store for the rest of November will be donated to Refuweegee. If you can, please help us to support local makers and this amazing charity by purchasing some of our tactile beauty.
The Elopement Society
We’ve got some exciting new East Lothian elopement and wee wedding news coming in the new year so get in touch if you might want to elope or have a tiny wedding by the beach/in the woods/with delicious things.
Before all the tantruming billionaires kill social media, we’re also working on some old school lo-fi ways of staying in touch which will also push me to do all the personal work stuff I just bashed out a bit of bravado about. I’m just saying this so that Hannah holds me accountable for it in a couple of months when I’ve forgotten. Also to try to tempt you into joining our mailing list so we can be pen pals.
Our brand new Edinburgh wee wedding package for seafood lovers is a banger (although not in the sausage sense I don’t think) so we’ll be hollering out that very soon too.
What’s the bets it takes me 6 months to actually call the doctor for an ADHD test referral…anyways much love as always, stay nourished and cosy cos it’s rough out there xx
A Wee Rant About Synchronicities
Kira & Jared are a couple who come from Louisiana and Oregon, who met and now live in Alaska. They found The Elopement Society and we designed their elopement around The Secret Cabin near North Berwick, and what a great day it was.
How’s everyone doing? My boy and I had covid a few weeks ago. I got the fever for a bit and spent a lot of the time just lying on the cool tiles on our bathroom floor. I think I slept pretty much for a week straight. My wee guy had the time of his life, a short fever then a whole week of laughing his ass off at horrific gamers on youtube.
Anyways, I’m back and I’m going to rant about synchronicities I think cos I had a dream about this tree last night and it’s a wee tale to share with you instead of retyping the blog post I started and accidentally deleted twice.
So this wee story starts with a big congratulations and thank you to Kira & Jared. They are a couple who come from Louisiana and Oregon, who met and now live in Alaska. They found The Elopement Society and we put together an elopement package at Secret Cabin near North Berwick, with a bunch of local suppliers including Andrea, the Soulful Celebrant from Agnostic Scotland.
Kira & Jared are very lovely humans with a big respect and love for nature. They wanted to marry by water and loved that the woods we adventured in are protected from development. We took a long muddy walk through the woods to a spring where Andrea created a ceremony space with this huge big dogwood circle she made. She also laid down a bunch of herbs that she’d grown so that the smell will remind them of their ceremony.
As part of the ceremony they chose this poem:
“When the first darkness creeps upon the floor
Your comfort filters green into my nostrils,
There is no need to ask for something more.
Let midnight prowl and fiends of malice roar,
Sickness and age may terrorise the neighbours,
You are a rowan tree beside my door
I sail my pen along its leafing shore
And poems thrill my hand like burning berries.
There is no need to ask for something more.
And all the winds that tattered me before
Become a song of stillness in your branches.
You are a rowan tree beside my door
My waking seasons used to number four
Until I smelled you green from May to April.
My wants are dumb, I ask for nothing more.
My goal was light, my wings were spread to soar
But there’s no need to ask for something more.
You are a rowan tree beside my door.”
In Scottish folklore the rowan tree is a symbol of courage, wisdom and protection. That’s why you find lots of them planted close to the front door of lots of homes. My grandparents had one in their front garden and last night I dreamt the berries and leaves of one were tapping against my bedroom window.
But that’s not my wee story.
My wee story is that I’ve been obsessed lately with the Jean Luc Godard film, Alphaville. It’s a banger, a black and white 60s dystopian film noir. The plot follows a detective, Lemmy Caution, travelling to Alphaville to rescue the citizens from a dictatorship run by an evil scientist using his fancy puritanical computer.
“Do you know what illuminates the night? Poetry”
In Alphaville words are regularly removed from use so the citizens forget their meaning. You’ll get the death penalty for showing love, tenderness, grief or desire… Lemmy (not the Motorhead guy) is passed a book of Paul Eluard poems by a contact from the underground, which he passes on to the daughter of our evil scientist fella. She doesn’t recognise some of the words but the poetry starts to release her emotions and that’s enough of a plot spoiler to say that all of this made me think of the news that words like war and invasion have been outlawed in Russian media, there’s also chat that they banned swearing from books and arts performances and all the Orwellian patter happening around minimising rights all over the place.
And that was my wee train of thought as Andrea read this beaut of a poem in the woods for our new Alaskan pals as they promised to look out for each other. Reckon maybe it’s time to read more poems, buy some banned books and create some things.
I’m rambling but I hope the words of that poem bring you some kind thoughts and doesn’t it feel really significant considering the absolute state of it out there? So I did a wee yelp-cry thing but I don’t think anyone heard as I was creeping about in the bushes at the time…
Courage, wisdom and protection to you and your favourite trees
x
The Elopement Society on-the-day suppliers
Secret Cabin | Studio Seapink | Caked By Catherine | Emma Combe Hair | Wine Wednesdays North Berwick | Soulful Celebrant | Solen on photography
City, Beach or Woodland (or anything in-between)
The Elopement Society designs very special weddings for very special couples. From tearooms, bookshops and nightclubs to beaches, woodland and secret cabins… we’ve got more than just the idyllic locations covered.
Words: IMHO Everyone is Nuts
The way I see it everyone is nuts. Most folks have boring patterns of pedestrian madness, you can predict it coming every time. Avoid these fuckers at all costs…
The way I see it everyone is nuts. Most folks have boring patterns of pedestrian madness, you can predict it coming every time. Avoid these fuckers at all costs.
Let shit be what it is and make space for the folks bursting with the unique naughty good kinds of insanity. Here’s to all you juicy magic delicious partners in crime and rantings 😘
I hope you enjoyed my ted talk.
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage
Meet Cori, of Makeup by Cori who is taking part in my ‘Unhelpful Words’ project… Cori is a big fan of Bill Murray, puns and she tells really very incredibly lame jokes. These are facts.
I promised to gather the troops and launch an attack on the stresses of wedding planning. So we’re easing in gently to this whole sharing thing with a wee bit from Aunty Cori about self care in the planning stages and the nervy hours before the ceremony.
This is Cori of Makeup by Cori (highly recommended FYI) taking part in my ‘Unhelpful Words’ project… Cori is a big fan of Bill Murray, puns and she tells really very incredibly lame jokes. These are facts.
Peep some magic from when Cori and I collaborated on an editorial shoot a wee while back >>
I promised to gather the troops and launch an attack on the stresses of wedding planning. I think all makeup artists and hairdressers are therapists as they tend to have heard it all before and have great advice. So we’re easing in gently to this whole sharing thing with a wee bit from Aunty Cori about self care in the planning stages and the nervy hours before the ceremony. Here’s what she had to say…
““In terms of self-care, if you’re feeling that things are starting to get on top of you then take some time to work out what’s causing you to feel like this. If I’m feeling low, stressed or overwhelmed then I find that it really helps to remove myself from a situation and take some time to myself and try to remember what’s important. Also, talking to people helps.
I’m currently working hard on not feeling guilty about taking time to relax (even though it’s my favourite thing to do)! It’s ok to do nothing and you should make time to do it, whether it’s just having a lie down, reading a book or sitting in your pants all day eating ice-cream and watching trashy TV – don’t feel guilty!
On the wedding day, delegation is the key! You want to sit back and relax so make sure your bridal party know what the schedule is and what tasks they need to do before you walk down the aisle. It’s really important everyone knows when they’ve to be in the makeup chair and when they need to be ready.””
Things that help me when I feel overwhelmed include taking some time to scribble down how I feel to help process it as it often turns out to be past experience triggering stresses. I like making crap collages or printing photos as cyanotypes as I find tactile things calming and they usually end up sketching out my anxieties. I also go for a wander on the beach, jump in the North Sea, go to the modern gallery to stare at some paintings for a bit, make a list of small achievable tasks and pick 3 for that day and leave everything else to later. I’m planning on getting better at naps.
There’s a whole heap of other advice and some chats about sustainable wedding planning, body positivity and all sorts coming soon from some ace humans, so sit tight…In the meantime, here’s some stuff I’ve been watching/reading/listening to lately that’s helped me chill the fuck out…
I’m obsessed with Brene Brown. I recently revisited her original tedtalk on vulnerability and there is a Netflix special about her, go watch and tell me her earrings aren’t prawn crackers…Anyway, I’m deep into her book, Daring Greatly, which I’m loving. It’s like having a coach with a spit bucket and towel by your side at all times.
Raw Milk : A podcast which is great for self employed creatives but I think also has some really useful episodes for helping those navigating the stresses and anxieties of planning a major event like a wedding. In particular, there is some great advice about prioritising when you are facing burn out or your mental and physical health are struggling to keep up with deadlines.
The episodes Navigating Anxiety, Depression and Procrastination as a creative entrepreneur and Connecting to your Spirit through creativity with the painter Satsuki Shibuya discuss learning to say no, learning to recognise your own patterns and what you need to do to cope, how to organise around your strengths and reverse engineering the big goals into small achievable tasks as a way of dealing with overwhelm. I’d recommend these to anyone, they’re not as dry as they sound!!
Also, if you enjoy comedy gold featuring pop stars from the naughties I’d recommend paul _ danan _ official on instagram cos it’s actual genius.
And dinny even get me started on my new addiction of swimming in the Firth of Forth cos that’s a whole big rant in itself…so I’ll no doubt write that soon.
x
More Wedding Ponderings
You’ll find more thoughts on confidence, emotions and choices amongst other important things on our wedding journal. Hop over and have a read — if there’s anything you think you’d like to share, or have us talk about, get in touch.
This is not the ‘about me’ info you are looking for
I’m currently sitting at a very different place for me than ever before. I’ve come out of the other side of total burn out - work-wise, mentally, physically too. I’m doing a lot of reassessing, figuring out what my honest goals and wants are, looking at the big picture. The last 3 years have been a proper rollercoaster and I’m gonna overshare about that in the hope that it maybe explains who I am a bit more honestly.
OK, so I’ve probably been holding back from this big old rant because it’s gonna be brutally honest and it makes me feel vulnerable but I just need to find my baws and bash on because it is totally honest and there’s no wee ‘oh hey, I love pizza and beach walks’ bullshit that really matches just spewing out the truth so you can really see who you get when you work with me. I ask you to be your authentic self in front of my scary camera lens so I’m gonna do the same here…grab a tea, this will take a while…
I’m currently sitting at a very different place for me than ever before. I’ve come out of the other side of total burn out - work-wise, mentally, physically too. I’m doing a lot of reassessing, figuring out what my honest goals and wants are, looking at the big picture. The last 3 years have been a proper rollercoaster and I’m gonna overshare about that in the hope that it maybe explains who I am a bit more honestly.
3 years ago my kid’s dad and I split after a very unhealthy and unhappy time. I’m pretty sure I went through undiagnosed post natal depression. I’d had to have a planned C Section because of previous surgeries and my milk didn’t ever come in although I spent the first couple of months of my kid’s life attached to breast pumps while trying to project manage a renovation and keep my business going from my mum’s spare room. I grew very resentful of my body which I’ve never had much confidence about but now I didn’t have any in it’s abilities either.
I left that situation with incredibly low self esteem, lots of unnatural anxieties and stress, I’d lost sight of who I am and was working at avoiding dealing with anything. Initially, I felt a huge sense of relief paired with a bunch of anger at some of the fallout and isolation I found myself dealing with. I felt pretty lost and I was also stuck in the house we’d renovated for around a year afterward, surrounded by failure and memories I was desperate to move on from, while we had a ridiculous and incredibly stressful legal battle. That winter my kid had recurring and terrifying nosebleeds, waking up covered in blood and needed blood tests for Leukemia and all sorts. Thankfully, he was fine. It was not a relaxing time, everything was feeding my fear of loss.
The following year my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer and began chemo. This was sandwiched by my dad having emergency treatments in hospital. I shot a whole heap of wonderful weddings that kept me going but I was struggling to keep up with all the other parts of running a business. I shot 10 weddings in the 6 weeks between selling our old house, buying a new flat and packaging up/unpacking with the ‘help’ of a 3 year old. Then, a few months later, just after my mum’s treatment ended with positive results we lost our friend, Scott, to suicide.
“I’d sometimes sink into a dark place and either isolate myself or go out and get wrecked and lost being busy with work or whatever else I could do to avoid just feeling those feelings. However, this time around I didn’t have the choice. All of the things that had happened all hit me at once and I just buckled underneath them all.”
I really lost it when he was missing. Kind pals drove me around the coast road trying to find him, texting some pals who were doing the same, desperately hoping it wouldn’t turn out to be true. He had been there for me over the last wee while and was honest, hilarious, cheeky as fuck and supportive despite his own struggles. He means a great deal to me and many of my pals. I have never allowed myself to grieve before. I suppressed most negative emotions. I’d sometimes sink into a dark place and either isolate myself or go out and get wrecked and lost being busy with work or whatever else I could do to avoid just feeling those feelings. However, this time around I didn’t have the choice. All of the things that had happened all hit me at once and I just buckled underneath them all. I had really pushed my own resilience past my limit. Being a self employed solo parent pushed me into asking for and accepting the help I needed. I had to be ok, I had no choice other than to face everything and work through it. And it has saved my life and is making me a happier, stronger and more confident person. I’ve learnt so much from these past few years.
Therapy has taught me so much about myself, my patterns and where they came from. I’ve always struggled to really feel my emotions in my body, if that makes sense. I have had suspected Crohn’s disease in the past which lead to several emergency operations. Those happened at a time of great stress. Since therapy, I can feel when there are knots in my stomach, tension in my back and neck. I notice when I’m clenching my jaw. I hadn’t really been very aware of that before except when I was very ill with Crohn’s. I’d tried very much to avoid it. Sea swimming was a wee epiphany for that. I’ll go on about that in more detail soon.
While I started therapy and had to allow myself to sit with and experience all those negatives I was still trying to work, get my kid sorted for his first year at school (not lose it too hard in front of him), and work as best I could. I talked a lot to friends. I am lucky to have some very very good friends. But most of the time I spent with them involved sitting in my favourite bar drinking too much wine as I wept through my feelings and stories. Acting like a real prick to someone kind when I’d had too much to drink one evening earlier this year made me realise just how unhealthy some of my ways of coping or unwinding had become. I think we can all be guilty of allowing what start as fun ways of de-stressing to become unhealthy and toxic patterns. That just helps us avoid negative feelings instead of processing them and seeing that they too are transient and hold value. I’m going to write more soon about how much I’m loving finding some self confidence and feeling more present through being sober.
It’s not an easy process going through therapy and some times it is dark as hell and quite lonely. But I would recommend it to everyone. We all carry so much crap around with us, which we project onto those we love or we people please or we isolate or overcompensate or fall into habits, addictions or have thought patterns that are unhealthy and hold us back from really living. I’d say to anyone struggling with anything, whether it feels like a small recurring thing that niggles at you or you know you have some brutal trauma that you haven’t worked through, ask for and accept the help you need. It won’t be easy but you will never regret it. Research, read up about your feelings and experiences, learn that you aren’t alone in any way, challenge the patterns you rely on, talk to people you trust, change your experiences, process why you feel shame for just being human, give yourself time and rest to process it all gently, don’t pressure yourself to think whatever it is will resolve instantly. Don’t put it off until you reach crisis point. Therapy can be preventative, confidence building and explorative, it’s not just for those in the real shit.
“When I see people stand fully in their truth, or when I see someone fall down, get back up and say, ‘Damn, that really hurt but this is important to me and I’m going in again’ my gut reaction is, ‘what a badass’.””
That quote above, I read it recently and I thought ‘I love that and those kinds of people, I totally agree’ but didn’t even think to apply it to myself. So i’ve written this and now maybe I can!! I hope I don’t sound like some smug preachy asshole, I very much don’t feel like one. I’m saying all of this because the whole process has made me reassess everything, including my work. it has made me face most of my deepest fears and I’m still here. Not perfect but growing, accepting and trying. I am also still guilty of sometimes sabotaging myself and holding back. I want to involve the positives I’ve learnt in my work, to grow communities, to share the dark so we can really value and enjoy the light. It all goes to inform how I live and work. Tiny changes. Here’s my manifesto for the future.
I want to share as I rebuild - I want to keep exploring my own creative voice. I won’t reduce myself for anyone - I am not too much and I don’t feel too much. I am passionate about the things I love and that is a wonderful thing. I want to enjoy my work and to feel really enlivened by and grateful for all my shared experiences. I want to keep sharing the hard stuff incase it helps support someone else in kick starting whatever they’re blocking themselves from. I’ll keep on sharing my experiences and lessons with honesty, try to quit sabotaging myself, manage my time in healthy ways. I’m gonna keep on talking about having body confidence, trying to live in a more sustainable and kind way, what I’m learning from the self care my therapist and experiences are teaching me, the books and resources I find helpful…
I feel really positive and calm just now. I know that I’ve still got plenty of battles to fight - rebuilding a business that’s been a little neglected while I work through all of this, learning healthy ways to manage time, finding a space to work from out of our home so I don’t feel isolated and making sure I don’t fall back into old patterns…but I feel a new confidence that it’ll all work out how it should. I’d love it if you came with my on my wee journey.
I’ve left comments on incase there is anything you want to share directly here. And my unhelpful words project is still open to anyone. Just email me to arrange to take part. See my previous blog posts for more info on that.
Thanks for reading and I really do love pizza and walking along the beach.
x
Do the Earth a favour, don’t hide your magic
Audrey and I worked together in a previous life at Electric Circus. I’ve photographed her beautiful face while chatting to her beautiful soul many times too. So it is really great that she is one of the first few folks to participate in my Unhelpful Words portrait series.
“Do The Earth A Favour, Don’t Hide Your Magic”
First published pre-pandemic, which feels like about 5 lifetimes ago…
So last time I started a wee introduction to sharing some stuff from yer actual genius wedding industry suppliers with a wee bit about how Cori from Makeup by Cori deals with anxious times. Next up is Audrey Barnes.
Audrey and I worked together in a previous life at Electric Circus. I’ve photographed her beautiful face while chatting to her beautiful soul many times too. So it is really great that she is one of the first few folks to participate in my Unhelpful Words portrait series.
When i asked Audrey a few questions about dealing with anxiety and stress when event planning, inclusivity at weddings and the like, she sent me just the best answers that she’s going to have to be a blog post all on her own cos (although she said I should) I don’t want to edit that shit down….so for now, here’s a wee introduction to what she does now and why she took part in the portrait series. Her super helpful and insightful event chat will be coming soon and you’ll find it totally useful, I promise.
Hey! I’m a wee tech and creative industries nerd, with a background in events, content creation, design, organisational strategy, and intercultural communications – championing equality and inclusion where ‘ere I go!
You can find me at workshops and events, as an organiser, facilitator, and/or visitor. Or, hanging out in the digital space, writing about, cheering on, and celebrating the ways we can bring joy to more folks in the world.
My unhelpful words portrait – aside from being a wonderful opportunity to collab with one of my favourite creatives – was a message for us all on being gentle with ourselves, in world that pushes us for constant productivity and perseverance. That’s why I chose the word ‘Resilient’ – a word that gets thrown around a lot by “motivational” folks, and those congratulating others when they accomplish great things despite the odds.
While often there’s good intentions behind comments made to those who have been resilient, there’s a wide-spread neglect that accompanies it. A neglect to explicitly recognise the dark side of resilience. That is, the impacts of keeping going without rest, and experiences of trauma – whether they be rooted in internal or external sources.
For example – you may know, or be, someone who experienced bullying. Yet, kept going, and made a life. Perhaps succeeding spectacularly (in whatever way success manifests for you/them). People who know what was overcome may shout “Wow! So resilient!”. Seeing you as strong, and a person to turn to for advice and/or support, since you come with wisdom as a result of your journey. This can be very unhelpful when we don’t slow down to check in, recognising that the memories and impacts of things remain, weighing down possibilities for genuine joy and health.
If you have a resilient friend who you can turn to, that’s so friggin’ wonderful! But make sure you recognise the cost for them – they need rest, compassion, and a person to turn to, too. If you are that person, be kind to yourself. Remember “don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm” – good boundaries and the timely saying of “no” is a gift to all around you.
We all have mental health, we all have times of struggle and I think the more we make discussing our mental health commonplace the better for everyone, wherever they’re at. Aye, so…email me if you’d like get involved in the portrait project.
Busy times around here with stuff and things…But what Audrey says about stepping back and slowing down to check in with things is totally true and something I’ve been making a wee bit of time for in amongst all this photographing and typing and pacing about my beach as I do…I’m reading Inward by Yung Pueblo just now and it’s blowing my tiny preoccupied mind. So insightful and I feel zen as heck after a few of his words about letting go of past emotional pain and learning to fully understand ourselves. Follow him on instagram and get in about his stories as he posts daily ‘3 thoughts’ stories which are just the bees knees.
Jeezo, I could rant on, I have much to say and share but I need to pace myself cos we only just talked about that.
x