Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage

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3 Dec

This is Cori of Makeup by Cori (highly recommended FYI) taking part in my ‘Unhelpful Words’ project… Cori is a big fan of Bill Murray, puns and she tells really very incredibly lame jokes. These are facts.

Peep some magic from when Cori and I collaborated on an editorial shoot a wee while back >>

Cori X Solen

I promised to gather the troops and launch an attack on the stresses of wedding planning. I think all makeup artists and hairdressers are therapists as they tend to have heard it all before and have great advice. So we’re easing in gently to this whole sharing thing with a wee bit from Aunty Cori about self care in the planning stages and the nervy hours before the ceremony. Here’s what she had to say…

““In terms of self-care, if you’re feeling that things are starting to get on top of you then take some time to work out what’s causing you to feel like this. If I’m feeling low, stressed or overwhelmed then I find that it really helps to remove myself from a situation and take some time to myself and try to remember what’s important. Also, talking to people helps.

I’m currently working hard on not feeling guilty about taking time to relax (even though it’s my favourite thing to do)! It’s ok to do nothing and you should make time to do it, whether it’s just having a lie down, reading a book or sitting in your pants all day eating ice-cream and watching trashy TV – don’t feel guilty!

On the wedding day, delegation is the key! You want to sit back and relax so make sure your bridal party know what the schedule is and what tasks they need to do before you walk down the aisle. It’s really important everyone knows when they’ve to be in the makeup chair and when they need to be ready.””

— Cori

Things that help me when I feel overwhelmed include taking some time to scribble down how I feel to help process it as it often turns out to be past experience triggering stresses. I like making crap collages or printing photos as cyanotypes as I find tactile things calming and they usually end up sketching out my anxieties. I also go for a wander on the beach, jump in the North Sea, go to the modern gallery to stare at some paintings for a bit, make a list of small achievable tasks and pick 3 for that day and leave everything else to later. I’m planning on getting better at naps.

There’s a whole heap of other advice and some chats about sustainable wedding planning, body positivity and all sorts coming soon from some ace humans, so sit tight…In the meantime, here’s some stuff I’ve been watching/reading/listening to lately that’s helped me chill the fuck out…

I’m obsessed with Brene Brown. I recently revisited her original tedtalk on vulnerability and there is a Netflix special about her, go watch and tell me her earrings aren’t prawn crackers…Anyway, I’m deep into her book, Daring Greatly, which I’m loving. It’s like having a coach with a spit bucket and towel by your side at all times.

Raw Milk : A podcast which is great for self employed creatives but I think also has some really useful episodes for helping those navigating the stresses and anxieties of planning a major event like a wedding. In particular, there is some great advice about prioritising when you are facing burn out or your mental and physical health are struggling to keep up with deadlines.

The episodes Navigating Anxiety, Depression and Procrastination as a creative entrepreneur and Connecting to your Spirit through creativity with the painter Satsuki Shibuya discuss learning to say no, learning to recognise your own patterns and what you need to do to cope, how to organise around your strengths and reverse engineering the big goals into small achievable tasks as a way of dealing with overwhelm. I’d recommend these to anyone, they’re not as dry as they sound!!

Also, if you enjoy comedy gold featuring pop stars from the naughties I’d recommend paul _ danan _ official on instagram cos it’s actual genius.

And dinny even get me started on my new addiction of swimming in the Firth of Forth cos that’s a whole big rant in itself…so I’ll no doubt write that soon.